The End

My friend, who I had told about the ad I posted online and didn't get a response never got back to me. She and I used to talk about everyday or so. I wondered if she was on. She is homeless, lives in her car, (apparently) because she loves the beach and must go there everyday, so she parks her car by the beach front comes bedtime. Who am I to get between someone and the beach? A couple of weeks passed without a word from her, I would call and text, nothing! I got concerned. We don't really know anyone in common, the only way to hear about her was going to have to be from her. After two weeks, I was waiting to use the restroom at the Judge Judy courtroom. I was first in line, out comes this lady who looks like she just woke up from a coma. Her hair was a mess, he pants were halfway up. This woman wasn't ready to get out of the restroom! She walked right past me towards the sink to wash her hands. It was my friend! What in the world! I was like, Spice (we'll call her that. Why not, right?) OMG, hi, are you ok? She said, I'm fine! She kept it moving. I was gobsmacked. I felt like she looked. I think she messed her hair up intentionally to cover her face up cos you can see outside and vice versa  in those toilets. She must have seen. She probably saw me in the courtroom already because I sat in front, we do the whole Catholic church thing of Sitting down and standing up. I was utterly confused as to why my good friend was acting that way. I had no idea what was going on.

On my way back to the courtroom, I saw her fixing herself up and asked if everything was ok, I was worried about her, I had been trying to reach her for weeks. She told me that everything is fine, she was taking some time off from people. After the last text I sent her where I told her I posted an ad online looking for a man FOR HER she though I must have lost my mind. She thought I went Hollywood on her. I was like WHAAATTTTTTTTT? What are you talking about I posted an ad on your behalf? Why on earth would I do that when I am painfully single myself? She told me she didn't know but that's what I told her. After that I called to tell her about my roommate, she said she kept asking about the ad, and I kept ignoring the subject. Listen! I'm a nice enough person that I would try to hook a friend up but I didn't do what she said I did. Like all out conversations, she misunderstood the text. Who misunderstands a text? Like there's no accent in a text, if you don't understand it, you can ask someone else to read it and tell you what they think it means, and someone else and and and.

Who died and made you God, that you are going to break our friendship, that is based on me feeling sorry for your homeless ass, and listening to your long ass stories when we do meet up because you're a sixty year old woman who lives in her car because of her unrequited love for the beach, who has no one to talk to or at least to listen to you but me? Give me a mutha fcking break! This was a one sided friendship anyway but I was doing my part because I have a good heart (own horn tooted) and was doing my part for charity. Literally in this case. Don't come here and tell me you needed a break and you decided to take it. You don't qualify for a break? Please! Especially after misunderstanding my text. Friends don't do that. You're the one who's going all Hollywood on me! What the fck is this? Walking out of a bathroom a mess, trying to disguise to avoid me. Who does that? Most of all in their golden years? I was like, lady, you misunderstood my text, nobody is trying to hook you up! Any normal person would have either texted back or called for an explanation. But it's ok, you can have your break. I almost felt bad that I wasted so my time worrying about this person. I was shocked that SHE of all people thought she was in a position to 'take a break' from a friendship with ME or anyone else for that matter. Everyone feels sorry for her. Btch pls, to the back! Have a seat!

Second week of February, after Jon's sudden moving out and drama, I was busy chatting with everyone I had met through my gazillion ads, including Lenny. Lenny and I talked the most. More than once a day. He wanted me to spend Valentine's weekend with him. I told him I wasn't ready to spend the weekend with anyone I had never met. We could meet somewhere and take it slow like any other relationship. He told me I would have to make the drive to San Diego. He didn't even hint about helping me with gas or anything. Not that if I had a car, I wouldn't afford gas but the sense of entitlement was overwhelming! It was going to be a long as hell train ride to San Diego, somewhere around 5 hours in total. I told him that was just too long. He told me I could make it a one way trip and just move in. Perry and I were still talking. Remember him, the guy I kinda lived with for five minutes in San Diego? Lenny didn't seem to live far from Perry, for a second, I toyed with the idea of making a trip of it; going to see Lenny and then staying at Perry's. Perry and I were talking about meeting up. Not as a couple or anything. That ship has so sailed. Hell, it hasn't only sailed, it sailed and sunk. Never to be heard of again.


I just wanted to get away from the whole Jon drama, that's why I considered Lenny's ridiculous idea of me going all the way to SD to visit him. I was overwhelmed. I wanted to have a nice time and just forget about it all. I told him that I would do it. He was so happy, he told me that I wouldn't regret it blah blah blah.

One of the guys who responded to my ads was another San Diegan or should I say Man Diego, they say that's where all the single guys are at. We'll Call him Daniel. He sent me a nice and long email and a number of pictures. Nice picture, but they seemed like they were taken decades apart. Maybe it was something with the lighting? He never told me his age, he's single, never been married, Italian, no kids, he's lived in the US for more than two decades now but is originally from Italy. I love getting long emails, to me that shows a certain level of seriousness. I responded with a semi-long email and a number of pictures. For some reason my yahoo was nuts, the message with all those pictures went to some dude with a mustache and a potbelly standing next to a tractor. He was so happy, I hadn't even seen his first message, I just saw this uber enthusiastic response, I'm like WTF. Turns out that was the recipient of the pictures. I resent them to Daniel and didn't hear back from him. I was kinda bummed about that. I'd been looking forward to hear back to him.

My Georgian friend in Hollywood, texted me one night and told me that someone was looking for extras for a movie for the following morning. I emailed the guys my pictures etc, and booked the part. Yay! Good looking out, friend! The shoot was first thing in the morning. I had to be there by seven. I didn't know if Jon had made himself copies of my keys before he moved out. I couldn't trust that he wasn't going to come back for more stuff. I was still shaken by what had happened. I called James and asked if I could leave my stuff in his apartment. It was a very valid reason to get a chance to see James. We love James. He agreed. I woke him up so early the following morning, like around 5 and dropped my valuables there before heading for the bus stop. He's so sweet, he offered to drop me off. I couldn't accept that offer. I got there just in time, met some nice people. The film is based in biblical times, we had some interesting outfits on, everybody looked amazing. They have a black Jesus and a guy who looks just like the white Jesus is one of the disciples. That guy is hot.He took pictures with out. Turns out James had auditioned for that part and lost to that Jesus. When I saw that Jesus, I did think about James. James has that Jesus thing too lol. Anyway, it was a ten to twelve hour day, they fed us, we had lots of breaks, of course we weren't in all scenes, so lots of down time to chill with other extras. One of them friends with my Georgian friend, he was the one to tell her about the gig. Apparently Kelly Rowland and Chaka Khan are in that movie, they just weren't in the scenes we shot that day. Dang it, so close to meeting them!

At the end of the day, we changed and headed for the train. I walked there with Georgian's friend. He's from Ghana if I'm not mistaken. He didn't pay to get on the train, We got on the train nicely, next thing I know, I turn around, he's nowhere to be found, I look ahead of me, there's the train security checking tickets. AAAhhhhhh, that's why. But where is he? I didn't have his number, so I texted Georgian and asked her to check if he's fine. Apparently, he had gotten right back off as soon as he saw security, bought a ticket and boarded the next train.
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The night before my trip to San Diego, I got a call from Lenny. He wanted to apologise profusely for he wasn't going to be available that weekend after all. I was like, I BEG YOUR PARDON! This was your idea! You're not going to have a couple of hours to do lunch or dinner? He said, nope! I have a hearing next Thursday that I have to get ready for. He was telling me that on a Thursday. What, are you a prosecutor? Why do you need an entire week to prepare for a case? He told me it was a half a million worth law suit, blah blah blah. I guess he also wanted to emphasise that those are the amounts that he's dealing with. Who gives a hoot?


He went on and on about how sorry he was that he inconvenienced me blah. I was like, let's scratch this one off the list. I'm glad he didn't let me go all the way there only to stand me up. That would have been worse. The following day, Valentine's day, I got a call from Lenny, we talked a little bit, he just wanted to say good morning. He called again that afternoon, stayed on the phone for a while. I thought to myself, this guy sure has time for someone who has a case next Thursday. Before I knew it, guy was like, so, you wanna come over? I'm like, you mean to San Diego?
Lenny: Yeah, I've caught up on my case, I have the rest of the weekend clear
Me: So you want me to come to your house?
Lenny: Of course, where else do you want to go?
Me: To meet up in public as I have mentioned to you before
Lenny:  We can spend the whole weekend in bed making llluuuuurrrrrrvvvvvvveeee

The f*!k!

Me: So you don't have an hour to meet up in public but you have an entire weekend to spend in bed making love?
Lenny: It will be the first weekend of the rest of our lives.
Me: What I am not trying to do is to buy a train ticket, sit on the train for five to six hours taking myself to a man I never met for him to have his way with me -


He wouldn't even let me go on, he hung up. I got so pissed, I called him to give him a piece of my mind, he didn't pick up. He called me that evening and wanted to play nicey nice. I played along for a second and hung up on his ass.

THE END.